The central core to your daily motivation and meaning
In my early years of training to be a coach, we were taught the skill of being able to ask great questions; what, how, when will, describe…the questions had to be open to allow the coachee to do more of the talking, and to encourage them to come up with the answers. Whilst that fundamental practise has not changed, something has. We were taught not to ask the question “why?” The reasons I learned were “this is too intrusive” and “challenging” and “may come across as if undermining or questioning your coachee or client”
Years have passed and I believe this has now changed. In fact asking “why?” in context and appropriately, can be vital to genuinely understanding the clients deeper truth, their motivation and the meaning they have attached to something, unearthing a value or a set of values that can lead to a client living a more congruent life.
That would be a successful outcome.
As I am writing this, March 2020, the world is experiencing a pandemic of the coronavirus-COVID-19. Countries are on lock down, everyday there are 1000’s of new cases and 100’s of people are dying every day. It is the most stressful, challenging time in this generation’s history. It really is a disturbing time, schools closed until September all exams cancelled, so children are being home schooled, there is no international travel and everyone given the instruction to stay at home. Supermarkets have empty shelves, as people stockpiled from panic buying and now there is a ration on many products including toilet roll! It does feel very post-apocalyptic. The streets are quiet with less traffic on the road. This pandemic has and will have a huge impact on the economies of the world, small business have had to close, larger companies particularly in the travel, hospitality, and retail have had to let people go and close. All events and places of worship are either postponed or closed, and people are now doing life and work (if they can) from their home online. The NHS is under immense pressure and this week over 400 thousand volunteers have come forward to help during this unprecedented time of need. Hats off to the NHS staff, honestly, right now, they truly are the superheroes. Like everyone else, I am seeing my family online-this is a new social- until further notice.
I truly believe when we come out of isolation, we will see the reality of the economy and will enter an alternate reality, a new normal. Perhaps even a new world order or one soon to come. A crisis never leaves us the same. Households are changing as loved ones are either sick or dying and household incomes are impacted. The UK government under Boris Johnson are doing what they can to support financially and in my opinion, it is an unprecedented intervention support.
So back to the why? Our ‘why’ is recession proof, crisis, proof and time proof.
Every day we make decisions, what we will do, how will we do it, and record into our diaries the things we must do. We think, research, plan and prioritise. But, do we ever pause to think ‘why’
Why are we doing the things that we are doing?
Have you ever asked yourself “why am I putting myself through this?” Then have the courage to change it if you are not happy with what you are doing?
Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why”
If we are to live a life of meaning and purpose and are motivated every single day, we must give ourselves the opportunity to the answer the question “why?”
Knowing your “why” will give you
- Meaning, a deeper resonance
- Purpose, that you connect with in every cell of your body
- Direction, you will know how you will get there
- Congruency, clarity on your deeper truth, your core
- Immunisation to cynics and critics
- Faith in what you are doing
- A strong reason to take action each day.
I was talking with one of my clients; she had recently begun to lose motivation and her mojo, the pressures of work and life were getting too much. We talked it through and it came down to the fact that she had forgotten her “why.” We excavated her deeper why and purpose and talked about the bigger picture and even evaluated consequences of doing or not doing. By the end of it, she re discovered her ‘why’ and is now back on track. Finding her ‘why’ is going to lead her to success.
Many times when a person comes to me for coaching they say, “I know what I want to do, but I don’t know how.” I now work with them to find their “why” and their “how”.
Everything you have done and experienced in life will lead you to a moment. A moment where everything makes sense and you know your ‘why.’ Another client of mine has become more productive working on her business and more powerful in her area of expertise since having to work from home. Why? Because she discovered her ‘why’ she remembered what she really wanted for her future and is in her element.
When you discover your why, you will realise the how, and further crystallise the what, then the inner soul or engine will drive the when.
This pandemic has also caused some wonderful things to happen. People are doing life slower, they have more time, time to appreciate things that were taken for granted many are reading books again or doing things they had no time to do before. No commuting, shopping, going to pubs and clubs or to the gym, mean most have more time to reflect, to help a neighbour, to play games and enjoy their families. The slower pace and fewer distractions is causing many to enjoy this temporary isolation and taking time to re-evaluate their lives and go on an inward journey. With less activity and pollution, the earth is springing forth its beauty, every morning I am hearing an orchestra of birds singing-I do believe there are more birds than usual and they are definitely singing louder-It is amazing to hear. The waters are clearer and the sky is sparkling again.
In this extraordinary time, I believe many will be asking ‘why’ or ought to ask “why,” particularly when life has thrown a crisis curve ball, where starting over was not a choice but offers an opportunity.
Why am I here? Who am I?
Why do I do what I do?
Why do I want to do x or y?
Then ask “why” again and even again, until you get to your truth
Find your ‘why’, and you will be inspired to take action, to have grit and determination and live it out each day. When you know your ‘why’ everything will change.
Stay Well-Stay Home
Find Your Why